


My Heart Is Like A Stallion

by Aubrie1234



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Green Day, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: 5-and-1, Cameos by Weezer, Fluff-Humor-Angst, Has all sorts of magical creatures but mostly centaurs, M/M, More tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22758040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aubrie1234/pseuds/Aubrie1234
Summary: Patrick hated being born a centaur. He tended to run into things a lot, especially without his glasses. Weight's also a problem. But at least he has his band.Ryan had too much hair to deal with but there was no way he was cutting it. He was also VERY very clumsy for a centaur. He's lucky he has a friend like Spencer to help him. Brendon and Jon too, even if they were a little more annoying than his best friend.Billie is a mule, and they're the most bullied of centaurs. Everyone hates mules. Everyone except Mike and Tré. Two people on this trash planet who actually care. And having them as friends makes life a lot easier.Josh and Tyler are the only pure centaur band in the world. This also causes a lot of issues with others trying to adjust for them, and so they try not to impose themselves too much on others. Doesn't really help, but at least they have each other.Frank is a can-do don't-give-a-shit centaur who is a tiny Shetland and won't hesitate to fuck you up. So don't mention his size, all his extra hair, or the fact that's he's a Shetland. You'll end up in the hospital that way, just ask Bob. But at least his band's got his back.(Series of 5-and-1 fics about centaurs and other antics)
Relationships: Patrick Stump/Pete Wentz, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Sarah Orzechowski/Brendon Urie
Kudos: 13





	1. Mon Petit Chou (Patrick)

**Author's Note:**

> So, this kinda stemmed out of Don't Let Me Drown, the Sirens!Verse I started. This is mostly centered on centaurs but has other magical creatures in it and is going to be all sorts of 5-and-1 fics (because I love writing them and they are actually really cool). And a lot of the things in things are just imaginings of how things are supposed to work with centaurs around. Also wrote it in two days again. Hope you guys like it!
> 
> Also, happy (early) birthday to Billie Joe Armstrong! What's more punk than a unicorn? (or a centaur being forced to dress up as one for promotional purposes and vows to get revenge on his bandmates)

**One**

Patrick has always had a bad habit of running into trees (or worse, poles) when getting to a high rate of speed, especially when not wearing his glasses, so he only ever trotted when he needed to speed up. This didn’t help when Pete, Andy, and Joe ran away from raving fans and he was forced to catch up, only to run into the nearest tree. Stumbling and holding his poor face, one of the guys would always go back for him and help guide him to freedom. So many other centaurs he’d talked to never had this problem! Why was it always him? What had cursed him to be such a clumsy centaur?

“Patrick?”

“What?” He hadn’t meant to snap at Joe, but he wasn’t exactly in the best mood.

“Do you need anything? We’re about to go on the road again.”

“No, I’ll be fine.”

“Alright.” Joe left him alone. Because there really wasn’t any space on the bus for him or a place to sleep, there was a small trailer attached to the bus just for Patrick. It had his computer, bedding-stuffed pillows (which thankfully weren’t hay or he’d been sneezing more than sleeping), and all his things as well as a small area to go to the bathroom if need be. The only thing it didn’t have was something to trim his hooves, but that was what a farrier was for. He also couldn’t talk to the guys except through walkie-talkie, but he liked having the time alone sometimes. Other times he wished he was human so he could stay with them on the bus. Right now, though, he was thankful for the alone time. A burst of static came from the talkie.

“ _‘Trick?_ ”

“Yeah, Pete?” Grabbing his computer, Patrick laid down to get some work done.

“ _You sure you don’t need anything?_ ” Joe must’ve told Pete about his attitude earlier. Patrick rolled his eyes.

“I’m fine. Just remembering how I like to run into things.” Pete snorted.

“ _I get it. Is that all?_ ”

“Yeah. Thanks for worrying.”

“ _Of course. Next stop’ll be in three hours. See you then._ ”

“Right.” Patrick put down the walkie-talkie and focused on the computer. He had the best friends sometimes.

* * *

**Two**

Centaurs tended to come from different types of horses, ponies, even donkeys and mules. Patrick was part Icelandic horse and they tended to have thick winter coats. Good in Chicago, especially with the snow. Not so much in blisteringly hot places like Buenos Aires or Dubai. Many times he barely avoided getting overheated, but could it be helped? He had shows to perform and having a winter coat was not gonna stop him from performing. He just had to get it trimmed before he left. Whenever he had to get centaur-ish stuff done, the band didn’t go with him. But this time, Pete was curious and wanted to come along. He also somehow managed to convince Andy and Joe to come with him, so now the four of them were going into a local cross-species hair salon. Patrick came here often to keep all his hair under control, so they knew him well. He couldn’t help but smile at seeing the amazed look on Pete’s face.

“What, never seen a salon like this before?”

“No, just...” Pete looked embarrassed, “Never been in this place before.”

“Hey, it’s like any other salon.” said Joe, “I come to this place too for my hair.”

“I’ve got a few other centaur friends, it’s nothing new.” Andy shrugged.

“I guess I’m the only one, then.” Pete said.

“Don’t worry about it.” Patrick assured, “I’ve seen people surprised by this place before. Now c’mon, I feel like I’m sweating already.” Turning around, he walked away from them, heading to the centaur section of the salon. The other three followed him until they came across Patrick talking to one of the barbers, likely one he knew well. Besides having a small waiting area, instead of a chair to do the hair cutting in, there was just a stall. It made sense, since a centaur had hair all over his horse body. The three sat down to wait for their friend, Andy and Joe grabbing some magazines while Pete sat back to watch.

“What’ll it be this time, Patrick?” asked the barber. Patrick shrugged, grabbing a newspaper to read during the trim.

“I need the top layer trimmed off. It’s my winter coat but I’m not gonna be in the cold for a while.”

“And do you need a tail trim?”

“Go ahead and cut it as short as you can. Donate it if you want.”

“Your hair?” Patrick glanced up at his hat.

“No, not this time.” The centaur backed up so he could fit in the trimming space. He was given the ok gesture once he was in the right position. He took out the newspaper and began to read, not even bothering to watch what was going on.

“Alright.” The barber reached over to grab some shears and a giant electric hair trimmer. Patrick didn’t even flinch as a blanket was draped over his shoulders so no extra hair would get stuck on his human upper body and then the trimming began. From the corner of his eyes he could see his friends and smiled again at the amazed look on Pete’s face. Clearly he hadn’t really seen a lot of what Patrick did as a centaur, but at least he was trying to take an interest now.

* * *

**Three**

“Hm hm hm…” Patrick hummed as he reached down, wrapping his hoof and ankle in the special slip that had been given to him for performances. It slipped over his hoof and up his leg up to his knee, long enough to cover most everything. Dark gray, thick, and warm, but it only went down to his ankle. He didn't have anything to cover his hoof, unfortunately, but at least he had his rubber horseshoes on. Once the slip was secure, Patrick leaned back, groaning and rubbing his back. It made him sore leaning forward like that.

“‘Trick?”

“Yeah Pete?”

“Do you need any help?” Pete was standing in the doorway of the green room, kinda nervous. Immediately this took Patrick’s attention, as a nervous Pete was never a good thing.

“Sure. Do you think you could get my back legs?” Patrick stood up and moved away from the couch. Pete nodded as Patrick threw his remaining two slips to the bassist. Remembering how he had to help Patrick with cleaning his hooves, Pete repeated the actions, holding Patrick's hoof between his legs as he slid the slip on the singer's leg. He did the same with the other leg and soon enough Patrick was ready for the set. Patrick's short tail swished as he blushed.

“Thanks.” he murmured, “Is it time yet?”

“No, but do you need anything else?” Patrick shook his head.

“I should be good onstage as long as it doesn't collapse…” Patrick shifted on his hooves. Pete gave a small smile.

“If it did, then it's because your awesomeness made it collapse.” Patrick smiled back.

“Thanks. You're the best.” Patrick walked over to give Pete a hug. The hug lasted for more than a few moments but it made Patrick feel better. He had always had issues with his weight, being a centaur, but the others always did their best to make him feel better about it, especially Pete. Once the hug was done, they moved to sit on the green room couch together. It was of the very sturdy type and extra wide so that centaurs could sit on it, even if it did tend to accidentally suck in humans. Like now. Patrick laughed as Pete practically fell into the couch and struggled to right himself. Feeling sorry for the other man, Patrick grabbed the collar of his jacket and lifted him out of the couch, righting him.

“Thanks.” Pete said. He sat on the edge so he wouldn’t be swallowed again. They shared smiles.

“Ready to give those kids a good time?” Patrick asked, holding out a hand.

“Definitely.” Pete took it.

“Hey, lovebirds!” It was Joe and instantly they sprung apart, blushing. The Jewish man allowed himself a cackle before going on, “We’re on call in five!” He left.

“I hate him so much.” Patrick stood up.

“You’re being salty again.”

“I think I have a right to be salty. I mean, we’re not lovebirds!” Patrick scraped a hoof against the carpet, “Are we?”

“Only if you want to.”

“Pete!” Patrick blushed again.

“Just kidding, dude, just kidding. Now c’mon.” Pete took his hand and they headed out into the wings of the stage. The setlist was different tonight and, after grabbing their guitars, they busted out onstage with _Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes_ , quickly followed by _From Now On We Are Enemies_ , two songs they hadn’t played live in a very long time. Pete couldn’t help but glance over at Patrick during _From Now On…_ , watching how excited the centaur was getting.

“C'mon now!” Patrick called into the microphone, “Stomp along with me! _I’m just the man on the balcony…_ ” Every time he brought down a hoof, others stomped with him in their own way, cheering happily. Pete smiled. Patrick always loved to lead these little events, even if he rarely initiated them. Pete loved him for it. He just wished he knew if Patrick felt the same.

* * *

**Four**

Patrick’s hooves clopped on the sidewalk, arms buried in his coat as he ventured through Chicago’s snowy weather. You almost couldn’t tell he had snowflakes landing on him because of his white coat, speckled with spots the same color as his hair. He didn’t have to be out in such cold weather but he didn’t have much else to do. He was mostly out trying to get his mind off things, like how Pete had suddenly become so interested in centaur things. He hadn’t before, what had changed? Patrick closed his eyes and tried not to worry too much about Pete. Whenever he did, he’d always think back on the bad times…

_His legs shook as he galloped up the stairs. As much as Patrick hated heights, he couldn't let anything happen to Pete. He'd jump off the roof after him if he had to! And when he finally got to the top of the hotel, he forced the door to the roof open. Immediately his heart started hammering, both in fear of the distance from the ground, the wind, and seeing Pete already so close to the edge._

_“Pete!” Patrick cried, taking a few steps onto the gravel of the roof. The bassist turned to look at him._

_“‘Trick?”_

_“What the hell are you doing up here?!” Patrick demanded, resisting the urge to stomp lest he lose his footing on the gravel. He was shivering from the cold wind and height but didn't back away. He wasn't going to until he had Pete in his arms, safe and sound._

_“I should be asking you that. Don't you hate heights?”_

_“Yeah, but I can't just leave you up here alone!” Patrick stomped a hoof this time and, like he had feared, his hoof slipped. Hooves went every which way as he tried to keep his balance, barely managing to do so. A concerned look came to Pete's darkened face and he ventured over, arms out to hold Patrick and help the centaur steady himself._

_“Easy. This is no place for you to be.”_

_“Don't you think I know that?” Patrick snapped, adjusting so he was standing straight again, “But I didn't want you to... to jump. You're my best friend and you have so much else you can do, this isn't the end! You just have to believe in yourself, and if you don't, you always have me and Joe and Andy keeping an eye out for you. We love you and would never let you fall._ Ever _.”_

_“Patrick…” Pete was touched at how Patrick had faced his fear to be with him. Tears were coming to his eyes but he rubbed them away, also smearing his eyeliner, “C'mon, let's get you back inside before you actually fall.” Arms around one another, Pete helped Patrick back into the hotel, glad to have such a wonderful friend._

He blinked his eyes open. He hated remembering that night. He didn’t even wanna think about what happened after that, how close they’d all come to losing Pete. Shaking himself, he tried to focus on the happier things. Or at least something not as depressing, such as how things would even work out if he and Pete got together. It wasn’t unheard of for centaurs and humans to get married and even have children, but he had no idea how to go about it. Would dating Pete be the same as dating another centaur? The Icelandic didn’t know. At least Pete was kind, caring, and helpful when needed, like during their van days. They didn’t have enough money to buy a centaur-sized van and so had to make do with what they could…

_“When are we gonna get there?” Patrick called from the back. They'd had to take out the back row of the van to help the centaur fit but even then he was cramped and in a clearly uncomfortable position. Pete looked over his shoulder from his seat in the second row of the van with a sympathetic look._

_“Not much longer, I don't think.” Patrick's tail swished a little as he sighed._

_“Good. I really need to stretch my legs.” He tried to adjust himself again but there was little room to do it and he ended up in the same position. He sighed again. Pete reached back and rubbed Patrick's back, since the centaur was lying on his side, his legs curled as tightly as they could so as not to get hurt. Patrick sighed again at the touch, but it was more of a comforted sigh. Pete smiled._

It was times like that that he hated being a centaur. There were so many different things about him that also made him more troublesome to deal with. But at least there were good times too. Unfortunately, those tended to be few and far between. But Pete had always been there for him, so maybe he shouldn’t worry too much about what the bassist thought. As long as they stayed friends, it was perfectly fine. With that in mind, he sped up his walk, going into a gait as he headed to his favorite diner to get a snack.

* * *

**Five**

“Two stalls, please.” Patrick stood beside Billie, shifting from hoof to hoof. He was glad he wasn’t the only centaur on the Hella Mega Tour but he still felt awkward around Billie. Not because the elder was a mule or anything, he just wasn’t used to spending time with other centaurs outside his family.

“Hey, c’mon.” Billie tapped his shoulder to get his attention. Patrick blinked before trotting along behind the other, heading to the stalls. Centaurs had a fear of being off the ground and so most hotels had centaur rooms on the ground floor. They wouldn’t be able to be with their friends but that was just fine, staying on the ground was much more calming. A panicking centaur was _never_ a good thing. Once they reached their room, Billie opened the door and they went inside. There were two stalls, a TV, an extra-long couch, and some reading materials. Patrick sneezed.

“I bet they used hay as bedding.” he sniffed.

“But you brought your own stuff, right?” Billie asked, trotting over to his stall, “If you did, just hand me the hay, y’know?”

“Sure.” Patrick nodded. Picking up the hay-filled pillows, he threw them over to Billie, a sneeze or four interrupting him. The mule added them to his pile of bedding before giving a thumbs up. Patrick just sniffed, digging out his own bedding pillows from his bags. No offense to the hotel but few centaurs had allergies to their own bedding like he did, so he always brought his own. Once he had his bedding down, he felt somewhat better. He’d probably still sneeze all night, though. Not something he was looking forward to. He moved to the couch, digging through his bags for some allergy pills and tissues.

“You sure you’ll be okay?” Billie asked, closing the door to his stall with a back hoof. Patrick nodded.

“It was worse in our van days.” Billie chuckled.

“Don’t I know it.” Patrick moved over a little to make room for Billie, despite the fact they were both small centaurs. Most centaurs were at least half a size bigger than they were, with the two of them being the same height as their bandmates, but being small had its advantages. As he blew on the tissue, an idea came to Patrick, a way to help him solve his nonexistent dating troubles with Pete. He turned to the mule.

“Billie?”

“Yeah?” The older centaur was messing with the TV remote, trying to get it to turn on.

“How did you start dating Adrienne? No offense to you, but I don’t know a lot about what goes on in a cross-species relationship.”

“It’s fine. Doesn’t help that I’m a fucking mule, y’know?” Patrick nodded. Centaurs, like people, could be prejudiced, especially against donkeys and mules, the latter in particular. Billie went on, “Growing up, I had to be tough as nails to get through all the bullying I got. I knew I was an outcast and didn’t expect anyone to love me, but then Adie came along. She’s a human, I’m a centaur, lot of people didn’t think it’d work out, but somehow, it did. All I had to do was ask her if we could start dating and she agreed.” He finally got the TV to turn on but he kept the sound low so he could continue, “I asked her several times during our relationship why she ever fell in love with someone like me, y’know? She never said she wanted to tame me or that she did it out of pity, she just loved me for who I was. I’m pretty lucky because of that.” Billie turned to Patrick, tail flicking, “So, who’s the lucky person?” Patrick blushed.

“N-nobody.”

“It’s gotta be a human if you’re asking me, so spill.” Billie smiled, “Promise I won’t tell, y’know? Centaur’s honor.” Patrick shifted in his seat.

“...Pete. It’s Pete.”

“Cute. About time you two got together.”

“Billie!” The mule just chuckled.

“When you gonna ask?”

“I don’t know!” The Icelandic stomped a hoof on the ground, careful not to damage the couch. Billie rolled his eyes.

“Almost twenty years, dude. Get your shit together before he takes off again. Once he settles down for good, you’re done.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Patrick turned red.

“Okay, fine, I’ll stop. Good luck.” Billie then turned to the TV, giving the Icelandic time to himself. Patrick now felt more confused than ever. Billie’s explanation wasn’t bad, he just had no idea how he was supposed to go telling Pete that he liked him. His tail swished as he sighed. Once again, _why_ did he have to be born a centaur?

* * *

**And One**

“ _Got a sunset in my veins..._ ” Patrick sung, a hoof stomping down along to the beat. They were halfway through the Hella Mega tour now and somehow _Sophomore Slump_ had made it onto the setlist. Not a bad thing, necessarily, but it had been a long time since it had been sung live. It was the middle of practice now, just trying to get the song right, and everybody was acing their parts. The practice area was also spacious, so Patrick had the chance to prance around and stretch his legs. Pete and Joe had to keep an eye on him so they didn’t bump into one another but otherwise they all had smiles on their faces. And when they finished, they were startled by the sound of clapping.

“That was great!” said Rivers. He was the only other in the studio with them, thankfully. Patrick blushed.

“Thanks a lot, fairy princess.” Pete joked.

“Just because I’m a fairy _doesn’t_ make me a princess.” Rivers’ purple wings fluttered in agitation, “But seriously, great job with the song!”

“We really wanted to make sure the song was still good, so thanks.” said Joe.

“I think we should stop for a break.” Andy advised. The whole group nodded and Andy and Joe walked out with Rivers. Before Patrick could join them, Pete grabbed his arm.

“Hey, um, could we talk?”

“Sure.” Patrick took off his guitar and set it aside. Pete bit his lip.

“You might wanna lay down for this.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No, no, I just wanna tell you something, and you might not take it well.” Patrick shifted from hoof to hoof.

“Pete...”

“I promise it’s not bad! Trust me?”

“I do, but you’re kinda making me feel nervous.” Pete understood. Nervous centaurs could bolt at the slightest provocation.

“Which is why you need to lay down. _Please_.” Patrick made a whiny but laid down. His arms were crossed as he waited for Pete to speak. Pete sat down with him, a little intimidated at how the other was taller in this position but pushing on regardless, “I wanted to tell you something that I only just started realizing after almost twenty years. You’re my best friend, and if this doesn’t work out I don’t want that to change, but, uh, I kinda have feelings for you.” Patrick stilled. Pete closed his eyes and braced for the inevitable backlash.

“You… you _like_ me? Like, love like me?”

“Y-yeah. Took me forever to realize it and I’m sorry, but if this is too much I can-”

“Pete.” Patrick's voice was low, calming, _smiling_. Pete opened his eyes. Patrick was certainly smiling, where he then reached out to touch one of Pete’s arms. Pete prided himself on not flinching away from the touch. Patrick said, “You have no idea how relieved this makes me. I like you too.” Patrick turned red, looking away, “I realized it sooner but I’m the kind of guy that doesn’t act on things. I talked with Billie about it before but it didn’t help.”

“W-well, I’m just glad you like me back.” Pete took him into a hug, “We gonna tell the guys?”

“No way in hell. They’d just roast us six ways to Sunday about it.”

“So fuck with ‘em?”

“Definitely.” The two shared sly smiles.

“Patrick Stump, you are the most devious centaur I have ever met.” Pete kissed him. Patrick kissed back. Maybe being a centaur wasn’t such a bad thing.

“Only second to my beautiful boyfriend.” Patrick pulled Pete to his feet, “I just hope Billie Joe didn’t start a betting pool after I told him about you.”

“Maybe, maybe not. But at least we’re together now.” Reaching an arm across to wrap around Patrick’s waist, they walked out of the studio together. This was something they did normally anyway so it wouldn’t look too weird and they couldn’t wait to start fucking around with their friends. Pete was betting that it’d last a few weeks. Patrick wanted it to last _months_.


	2. A Mountain in the Middle of the Cabins (Ryan)

**One**

When Brendon was first invited to join the band, he really didn’t expect to be joining a centaur. He wasn’t against centaurs, no, he supported them, it was just _really_ surprising because this was Ryan Ross, the clumsiest centaur in Las Vegas. Not exactly something you want to be known by, but there he was. It wasn’t helped by the fact he was a Friesian and had tons of hair that he could trip over. Jon was just as curious about Ryan was still standing, not tripping over anything just yet.

“How can you even _walk_ with all that hair?” Jon asked. Ryan gave a small whinny.

“I know, but I don’t wanna cut it.” His tail swished, “It's just me, y’know?”

“You should’ve seen what he was like back in school.” Spencer said, “He couldn't get to one class without tripping over his hooves at least twice.” Ryan gave his friend a glare.

“I could walk just fine.”

“Like the time you stumbled into Mrs. McKreary?”

“It was an accident! She got out of the hospital eventually…”

“Wow, you really _are_ a klutz!” Brendon chuckled. Ryan growled, then lifted a hoof. Brendon yelped when Ryan stepped on his foot.

“Say it again and you won’t have a foot to walk on for a while.” Brendon took his foot in his hands, rubbing the painful appendage.

“Right, got it, sorry.” He still smiled at Ryan regardless. The centaur turned red and moved back to Spencer’s side, arms crossed. Then he almost fell on Spencer as he faceplanted. Brendon couldn’t help but break out in laughter at the sight.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but that is _hilarious_!” Brendon was just out of range to avoid getting his head kicked in, but Ryan still tried.

“C’mon Ry, don’t try to kill him just yet!” Spencer said. Ryan growled again.

“I’m guessing you don’t take anything having to do with your clumsiness well?” Jon mused.

“What was your first clue?” Ryan bit out.

“Instead of ‘you can’t swim, you can’t dance, you don’t know karate,’ it’s more like ‘you can’t walk, you can’t dance, you can’t go three feet without tripping yourself!’”

“BRENDON!” Ryan reared up before stomping his hooves.

“I’ll stop now!” Brendon ducked away from Ryan’s flailing hooves.

“This is just wonderful, ain’t it?” Jon’s sarcasm was plain to be heard. Spencer could only sigh.

* * *

**Two**

“Why do you have so much hair?!” Jon grumbled as he tried to help Ryan get into the back of the van and not let his long hair get caught on anything, especially the closing door.

“I’m a Friesian. Get used to it.” Ryan disliked doing this as much as Jon did, if not moreso. Once he was in the van he wouldn’t be able to move much and so adjusted himself to lay on his side, where he would be more comfortable. Joe pushed Ryan’s tail back into the van, only for it to tumble out of place again. Jon growled.

“Do we have anything to hold his hair back?” He called up front. Brendon and Spencer turned around in their seats.

“Just a rubber band or two, why?” Brendon asked.

“Give it.” Brendon shrugged and threw two bands to Jon. Ryan gave the bassist a look but Jon ignored it, using one band to put all of Ryan’s tail hair in a bundle and the other to keep the tail attached to one of his legs. Finally it looked like Jon could close the door on Ryan, but when he did, there was a small yelp.

“What happened?” Jon raised the door again and barely missed getting kicked.

“You missed all the hair around my hooves, dumbass!” Jon sighed. He hated being the designated person to do this. They’d decided to rotate the position of helping Ryan into the van between the three of them but Ryan wasn’t making it hard not to lose his temper.

“Maybe you should get it all trimmed off, then!” he snapped.

“No.” Ryan gave him a glare. Jon sighed angrily.

“You sure you don’t want me to come back and help?” Spencer asked.

“If you know how to fold his hair back so it doesn’t get caught on the door, then please, be my guest!” Jon stepped back as Spencer left his seat, walking back to help. He watched carefully as the man carefully pushed Ryan’s hooves away from the door and, double-checking all the hair was tucked away, he closed the door. Ryan gave a neigh of approval and Jon rolled his eyes. At least they could get on the road now.

* * *

“Hi there! It’s so nice to meet all of you!” said the interviewer, and they gave their own ‘hello’s. It was their first interview after releasing _Fever_ and all four were standing beside her, in front of the venue they’d be playing that night. Ryan shifted nervously. Out of all of them, he disliked interviews the most. He’d also prefer to be sitting so that he didn’t accidentally make a fool of himself with his unmanageable amount of hair and leg. How did Friesians _do_ this? His attention was once again on the interviewer as she asked, “So, what’s it like, being in a band?”

“Pretty good.” Jon said. Brendon was looking around, fidgeting as much as Ryan was, and the centaur nudged him with a hoof to help get him back on track. Brendon kind of jumped but managed to nod.

“Y-yeah, it’s really awesome, being in a band.” He glanced at Ryan.

“I mean, it’s surprising how we managed to take off like this, but it’s pretty cool.” said the centaur.

“Yeah, being in a band is great.” Spencer nodded.

“If I understand this right, you asked Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy to check out your demos and now you’re here. What was it like, meeting him?”

“Well, we didn’t just meet him. We got to meet the rest of the band too.” Spencer said. Ryan could remember how happy he was to be able to be friends not just with Fall Out Boy but also another centaur. He had very few friends the same species as him and knowing Patrick was now his friend made him feel better somewhat. As they went on with the interview, she asked them all sorts of other questions, growing closer and closer to time for them to be onstage, but eventually it ended and Ryan could give a sigh of relief. His legs had been trying to lock the whole time from how he did want to move in case he embarrassed himself and so he proceeded to trot away to stretch his legs, only to nearly fall on his face again. At least he caught himself this time.

“Steady there, Ry.” Brendon was suddenly by his side, helping to steady him. Besides Spencer, he was the one who tended to help Ryan the most, even if he did laugh at Ryan’s fails the most.

“Thanks. At least no one caught it on tape, right?”

“Right. Now c’mon, we’ve got a show to do!” Brendon took off and Ryan was forced to gallop after him because Brendon could be speedy if he wanted to.

* * *

**Three**

“WOO HOO!” Brendon yelled, sliding down the slope on his snowboard. The tour was taking them through Colorado now and they’d decided to take a small break in the snow. Rarely, if ever, did they get snow. This was the first time they’d really encountered it and they were going to do everything they could to stay there. Brendon hadn’t taken any snowboarding lessons but he was riding it like a natural. Spencer and Jon weren’t going to take on the slopes but Ryan was. In fact, he was in his element in the cold weather, thanks to his Friesian heritage. As Brendon reached the end of the slope, he skidded the board to a stop and ran towards the chairlift to go again. To his surprise, he found Ryan waiting at a nearby lift, this one using a lift hill like in a rollercoaster to drag sleds up and down the hill because centaurs were way too heavy for chairs in the air.

“You comin’ up the slope too?” Brendon asked as he waited for a free chair. Ryan nodded. He was only bundled on his human half (excluding the ski boots) and resting in his arms were a pair of skis. Brendon tilted his head as he examined the skis, which appeared to have a break in the middle in the shape of a V and four boot bindings, two on each ski. There were also two latches over the top of the break, linking the skis together. He frowned, “You sure those are safe?”

“Yeah. They’re centaur skis, regulation. At least, the chalet said so.”

“How do you ride them?”

“It’s basically two mini-pairs of skis.” Ryan pointed to the break, “It’s slightly upturned here like the front of the skis so, after unlatching, I can have four skis. It’s so I can actually jump, since it’d be too complicated to try doing all four hooves at once.” Brendon glanced down. Ryan’s front legs were pretty strong but weren’t used for jumping, not like his back legs. It made sense.

“Well, here’s my ride. Meet you at the top!” Brendon jumped on the chair and glanced back at Ryan, who was now hoping onto a sled. Once they were both at the top and off their transportation, Brendon once again joined Ryan. The hill was huge and had several different slopes for them to choose from. Brendon asked, “Have you ever skied before?”

“No.” Ryan laid the skis on the ground and started hooking his boots into the bindings, “Where should I start?”

“Not on the black diamond, definitely. Why not the long bunny slope?” After checking the latches, Ryan straightened up and nodded. The ski poles had been strapped to his back and he took them off, holding them steady. Brendon strapped himself back onto the snowboard and they stared down at the slope together.

“Why are you coming with me? Don’t you like the harder slopes?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want you getting hurt.” Brendon pointed, “Your tail may be braided and out of the way but you’re still clumsy as fuck.” Ryan huffed.

“I can’t fall on this slope. I’ll be fine.” Ryan pushed off. Brendon sighed and went after him. Bunny slopes typically didn’t have jumps or any hard obstacles to dodge but, after a recent snowfall, there were a few solid and nonsolid jumps. Brendon was trailing behind Ryan, careful not to get too close, and he could see how the skis worked. Most of the time they stayed together but if Ryan ever wanted to jump, he bent his back legs before lifting his front ones and jumping into the air, more graceful than he had ever been, and landing without incident. And yet, as they neared the end of the slope, Brendon felt a bad feeling growing in his stomach, and he was proven correct as Ryan suddenly hit something hidden in the snow and was flipped over, his horse half the only thing still above the snow and flailing. If it wasn’t so serious, Brendon would’ve broken out laughing. Since they were near the end of the slope they were also near the chalet, where Spencer and Jon had been waiting on a bench outside for them. At Ryan’s crash they came running over.

“Is he okay?” Jon asked.

“Only way to tell and he’s not letting us get close.” Brendon said. Ryan’s legs were flailing too much for them to get close but if they didn’t get him out of the snow things would get worse.

“Touch him with your snowboard, let him know we’re here.” Spencer advised. Brendon nodded and took off the snowboard before nudging Ryan’s side with it. Immediately the centaur stopped flailing his legs and so the band was able to get close enough to combine their strength and push him onto his side to the point where he could sit up. He was shivering and covered in snow, but he was alive.

“Never. Again.” he said between chattering teeth as the guys helped slip off his skis.

“C’mon, let’s get you inside.” Together they helped Ryan to his feet and went inside the chalet to warm up and dry off, but this would certainly be a time none of them would forget.

* * *

**Four**

“Ugh.” Ryan winced as he shifted hooves, bringing one into the air to hang. He’d been tuning his guitar but it was hard to do with one hoof that had been in pain for a while. He’d scheduled a visit to see the vet but it wouldn't be ‘til tomorrow and they were scheduled to go out onstage for a concert tonight. He hoped it wouldn’t be anything major.

“Something wrong?” asked Brendon, poking his head into the green room.

“‘s nothing. Can’t wait to see the vet about my hoof.” He placed the guitar back in its case when he was done tuning it and prepared to pull on his hoof sleeves but it was hard to sit with a sore hoof.

“Here, let me get that.” Brendon came in and grabbed the pink slips off the table. He gestured for Ryan to allow him to get close. The Friesian huffed but didn’t move, allowing Brendon to approach. Usually it was Spencer who helped clean Ryan’s hooves but Brendon knew enough to get the sleeves on Ryan’s ankles. Ryan’s breath hitched in pain when he was forced to stand on his sore hoof and Brendon hummed to distract his centaur friend. Once it was over and the pink slips were on his feet, Ryan gave a sigh of relief.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. You sure you’ll be able to perform with your hoof in pain?”

“As long as I keep off it, yeah.” Ryan nodded. Brendon gave the Friesian a look but didn’t argue. Instead he said, “Well, are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Brendon smiled. He took Ryan’s hand and, after grabbing their guitars, they headed out onstage.

* * *

“Abscess.” said the vet with certainty after looking at Ryan’s hoof, “Definitely an abscess.”

“What’s an abscess?” Brendon asked. The band had come along as support for Ryan and because Brendon and Jon weren’t familiar with centaur-related stuff.

“A puss-filled pocket that forms, usually from an infection. They can burst by themselves, but if allowed to set, they can turn septic.” explained the vet. Brendon and Jon made disgusted faces. Ryan flicked his tail in irritation.

“Can you get it out?”

“Of course, but it might hurt.”

“Not any worse than how it feels right now.”

“And the shoe will need to come off.”

“Alright.” Ryan shrugged. No big deal. He could go to a farrier to put it back on after his hoof was healed. Once the nails were pulled out and the shoe was taken off, the vet began working on the abscess. A small incision was made and pus began flowing out, causing all three bandmates to look sick at the sight.

“Ahhhhhh.” Ryan sighed, relieved to get all the pressure out of his hoof. The vet then poured some Epsom Salts onto a compress and tied it to the bottom of Ryan’s hoof, sliding it into a hoof boot.

“Make sure to change the compress every day and to not let the hoof get dirty.” said the vet, “The Epsom Salts will draw out the infection and you should be able to take it off in two to four days.” Once his hoof was free, Ryan put it down to put pressure on it. It hurt, but not as badly as it had before. He nodded.

“Thanks a lot, doc. You can send me the bill.” The vet nodded. After the vet had left, Jon also got up and went straight to the bathroom.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Ryan said, hearing Jon throw up.

“ _You_ didn’t see it.” said Spencer.

“Blergh, I almost feel like joining him.” Brendon groaned. Ryan rolled his eyes.

“At least help me care for my hoof?”

“Yeah, but next time we’re not coming along.” Brendon said.

“Even if I get hurt?”

“We wouldn’t go that far.” Spencer said, nudging Brendon and giving him a look.

“Sure, sure...”

* * *

**Five**

Ryan scrolled through the feed, wondering what Brendon and Spencer could be up to now. A few years ago a new social media service had come out, called Twitter, and it had taken off pretty quickly. It allowed him to see what was going on with his ex-bandmates, since they’d split only a few months ago. Beside him was a bowl of crackers and Cheez-Whiz, something that had become a staple of his recently. As he scrolled through tweets to his band, he began frowning. Brendon and Spencer were getting all sorts of hate for the breakup even though it wasn’t their fault. Quite a bit of it also came from people not even fans of the band, just people who were activists for centaurs. They all thought it was Brendon’s and/or Spencer’s fault for him and Jon leaving the band. It wasn’t right. He’d had to give an explanation and fast, before the comments got worse. Brendon and Spencer had done nothing wrong and didn’t deserve any of this. Knowing Twitter only had a limited amount of characters, Ryan wrote down his message before he began typing, planning to explain it in a series of tweets.

_[1/5]_

_For those of you who are blaming @BrendonUrie and @SpencerSmith for the split, please stop. It isn’t their fault the band split._

_[2/5]_

_@JonWalker and I wanted to take the sound one way, Brendon and Spencer wanted to take it another. That’s all that happened._

_[3/5]_

_And for those of you trying to ‘defend’ me as a centaur, don’t defend something you know nothing about. I left of my own accord,_

_[4/5]_

_no one made me leave. I only left because I wanted to. And if some of you still have a bit of hate to spill, aim it at me, not them,_

_[5/5]_

_because Brendon and Spencer did nothing wrong._

A hoof tapped the wood floor as he sent off the tweets, hoping people would get the message. Even though Twitter had taken off, he was afraid not enough people would get it. Shaking his head, he left Twitter and switched to YouTube. He’d like some serious cat videos right now. He glanced down when he felt the bed dip and smiled when he saw Dottie climbing onto the bed to be with him. He rubbed the dog’s head before going back to the computer, tail flicking once as Dottie climbed onto his back to settle down.

* * *

Ryan rubbed his face as he read the next hateful tweet. Barely two days after he’d asked people to leave Brendon and Spencer alone, he was getting the flames. He’d expected this but it didn’t make him feel any better. He continued to scroll through the tweets, dying a little inside at each hateful word, until he saw a few @s mentioning Brendon and Spencer. Curious, he went to their Twitter pages and found recent tweets defending his own defensive tweets. As he read them he began to smile.

**_@BrendonUrie:_ **

_[1/2]_

_@realRyanRoss, thanks for the support, but you don’t deserve any of the hate. Please guys, just leave him alone._

_[2/2]_

_Yeah, he asked to take on the hate, but that doesn’t mean he deserves it or needs it. #ThinkBeforeYouSpeak_

**_@SpencerSmith:_ **

_[1/2]_

_@realRyanRoss, it’s nice to hear from you. And @BrendonUrie is right, leave Ryan alone, guys._

_[2/2]_

_Yeah, I get you’re mad and wanna take it out on somebody, but do it to the person who deserves it, and it’s certainly not Ryan._

Ryan rubbed his eyes, trying not to cry. Despite the bad split, they still had his back like he had theirs. This is why he loved them.

* * *

** And One **

A lot of people think that centaurs don’t get raped, it’s just not possible, like how they always think men can’t get raped but they do. And unfortunately for Ryan, he got a firsthand look of how it could go down. It was nighttime in the city and, even with all the lights, he was moving quickly, feeling nervous. He nearly tripped several times, but he’d gotten better at managing his hair and legs and so could stay on his feet. It was the middle of July but he couldn’t help but shiver, glancing back. As a centaur, he’d always had a nervous feeling hiding deep inside that only came out when he felt like prey and now was no exception. Hearing a car come down the street, his nervousness increased and he backed into an alley to wait. He faced the street, waiting for the car to pass on, and suddenly something jumped on his back and wrapped over his face. He reared up and tried to shout, but a metal bit was forced into his mouth, making it hard to make anything more than shouts and screams, and he soon filled with dread.

Centaur bridles were banned everywhere, usually used by others like a normal horse bridle to control centaurs. It was surprisingly effective, another reason why it was banned, but pony bridles could be modified to fit. As it was forced over his face, it hurt and rubbed =, cutting into his features and the bit kept him from making words. He tried to swing back at his attacker but inside both arms were tugged back and a rope wrapped around them, preventing him from fighting back. He gave a terrified whiny and prepared to run, but the bridle reins forced his head back, focusing his attention on the pain on his face over everything else. Then heels were jammed into his sides and he trotted forward, an instinctual response from his horse side. His head was tugged back again and then the reins were tied to a nearby pole. He tried to get away but the knot was too strong. At least he could get a good look at his attackers, maybe kick them.

“Wow. I didn’t think that would work.” There were two men behind Ryan, not in kicking range, but he was already aiming at where he’d hurt them the most.

“Now we can do what we want. You wanna take him first or should I?” asked the other. The first shook his head nervously and so the second came closer. Ryan struck out but missed the man as he dodged to the side. Ryan had to pause to readjust his kick and get his balance back but it took too long and the man was too close, touching at the sac that held his balls. Ryan couldn’t help but whimper. He’d played around with his sexuality when he was younger but he didn’t want this. He tried to kick again but it was dodged for the second time. He was going to be raped and if he couldn’t hit them, there was nothing he could do.

“HEY!” Ryan’s head shot up as someone came running into the alley to take down one of the guys. He used this chance to kick the closest one and managed to clip his head. He didn’t care if the guy died or not, he just wanted to get out of here. He was shaking and terrified. He was whimpering so loudly he didn’t hear the fight end but at least his savior had the sense to speak loud enough to be heard over his whimpers, “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay now.” Ryan turned to look back at the person that saved him and they both stopped.

“Brendon?” he asked, though it couldn’t be understood because of the bridle. Brendon slowly came closer without saying a word, just cooing to keep him calm as the singer took off the rope and then helped with the bridle. Ryan felt a wave of relief crashing over him even as his legs shook so bad he didn’t know if he’d be able to walk. He didn’t flinch when Brendon touched him because he knew him and Ryan took in a large breath, breathing in Brendon’s smell. He felt calmer now but nowhere near where he needed to be. Once the bridle was off, Brendon took his hands.

“C’mon, let’s get you out of here.” Brendon had no need to pull Ryan along because there was no way Ryan wanted to be left alone right now, but the pull helped Ryan move and keep on his feet. Brendon walked Ryan to a nearby hotel and asked for one stall. The man at the counter looked curious at just the single stall but gave them a key. As soon as they were in the room, Ryan collapsed on the couch. Brendon said nothing, only sitting with him and letting the centaur cry on him. He rubbed Ryan’s flank, gentle and slow, not wanting to spook his ex-bandmate further. It had been so long since he’d dealt with a centaur, with the one in front of him as his only experience, but he still knew all of Ryan’s little quirks as well as if he’d just been told them yesterday. When petting the flank didn’t work, Brendon reached up to scratch behind one of Ryan’s ears. He knew this was definitely calming and it seemed to work, as Ryan soon stopped shaking afterward. Brendon smiled, “Feel better?”

“Y-yeah.” Ryan gave a shaky nod. There was hesitation in his face, like he wanted to ask something but didn’t know, but apparently he made a decision on it as he leaned forward and kissed Brendon. It wasn’t a long kiss nor a strong one, more of a peck, but it had been done. Ryan looked horrified when he pulled away, “I- I’m- I need to-” He made to stand but Brendon tugged him back into his seat.

“Hey. It’s okay.”

“No it’s not.” Ryan was shaking his head, “You’re married to _Sarah_ , I can’t break that up.”

“Ryan, it’s okay. She’ll understand, I know you weren’t trying to do that. But can I ask why?”

“I-” The Friesian took a shaky breath, “I’ve always...kinda had a crush on you.”

“Even when I laughed after you fell all the time?”

“It made me crush on you more. But I never said anything because I’m bad with feelings and because I didn’t know if you felt the same.” Ryan’s head bowed as he swung a hoof, scraping the floor slightly as if trying to write a message into its surface, “They were dead and gone for years, but seeing you again and all this brought it up again and I just-” He shook his head, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Brendon kissed his cheek, “I kinda had a crush on you too. You were so wacky and cool but I made a fool of myself by laughing at you all the time and I never thought I had a chance. I can’t say we can be together, but I’m glad that we both know how the other felt.”

“And Sarah? I can’t exactly get in on the marriage.”

“She’ll understand, Ry. And as much as I’d love to do that, we can’t.” Ryan’s tail flicked a few times in the silence that followed.

“...I know.” He hugged Brendon, “Thank you so much for this, all of it.”

“I couldn’t let someone get raped, ‘specially not you.” The singer stood, tugging Ryan off the couch, “Let’s get you to bed.”

“What about you? There’s only one stall, no bed.”

“I can take the couch.”

“No way.” Ryan shook his head, “You can sleep with me. I think I might be a bit more comfortable than that couch.” Ryan was smiling and Brendon joined in.

“Okay.” After messing with the bedding pillows a little, Ryan was off to sleep immediately, the night taking its toll on him. Brendon laid against Ryan, carefully positioned between pairs of hooves, and listened. He could hear sounds from outside the room and Ryan’s breathing. He wished he was up higher to hear the centaur’s heartbeat but listening to his flank was just fine. Brendon knew he couldn’t let Ryan live alone after this for a while, just to make sure his friend was okay, and so he’d invite Ryan to stay with him and Sarah for a while. There was no love involved, just friendship. ...Okay, there might be a _little_ love, he’d never stop loving Ryan, but there was no way he’d leave Sarah out in the cold. Ryan needed help and Brendon wasn’t about to turn his back on the Friesian. He knew Sarah would understand, she always understood. She even knew about his crush and never teased him about it, just listened and let him get it all out. That helped him make sure not to make the first move tonight. Brendon rubbed Ryan’s flank as he thought about what Sarah would say to this.

“Everything’s gonna be okay now. I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. So, for the Twitter posts, I tried to keep them within the 140 characters, since I'm not much of a Twitter user myself. And Twitter existed by 2009 (created in 2006), as did YouTube (2005). And the Twitter @names are not their own, I'm sure, but I needed to use something to fill it in.
> 
> 2\. Centaur skis are from my imagination, since horses have more strength in their back legs to use in jumping and that trying to coordinate all four hooves to work with skis would likely not end well. And there is no way you'd be able to get a centaur to sit in a ski-lift chair without either hurting the centaur or breaking the ski-lift.
> 
> 3\. Yes, this is somewhat Ryden, but there are only tiny bits of it because Brendon is with Sarah. And no, there's not gonna be a polyamory. As much as I'd like one to keep them together, no.
> 
> 4\. I realize Brent was in the band before Jon but in this story that didn't happen, Jon was there from the beginning.
> 
> 5\. I looked up how to deal with a abscess in the hoof because centaurs would definitely get those too. They are not immune to getting the same things as horses do, making them more vulnerable to more diseases and other things.
> 
> 6\. You guys should all know where ‘you can’t swim, you can’t dance, you don’t know karate’ is from.
> 
> I'm thinking of making bonus chapters after the '5-and-1's to expand on the stories, especially for Ryan's. What do you guys think?  
> I also clearly listened to Some Kind of Disaster (ATL) way too much while writing this.


End file.
